This is a time of year that can bring up so many different feelings. As adults, we try to recreate the magic we felt as children. It's supposed to be a perfect, magical time, but this can sometimes feel like pressure - to have the place looking beautiful, to cook the perfect meal, to give everyone what they want, to get what we want ourselves, to all get on with each other. There are often memories of loved ones who are no longer there, either because they have died or because a relationship has broken up. For many, there isn't enough money to do things the way we want to, to give children what they have asked for, especially if their friends are getting more or better.
Sometimes when returning to the family home as adults, we slip back into a role we were familiar with growing up - the oldest child, expected to help more; the youngest - getting away with everything; somewhere in the middle, trying to get noticed; the cheeky one, the sensible one, the narky one, the odd one...……..
The biodynamic approach to relating is to be non-judgemental, to give each person space as well as claiming our own, to listen, to be equal. People can have different opinions about politics, religion, how to live, etc etc. Let them! We don't have to convince anyone that our opinion is better than theirs - it's just ours. And if others are trying to impose their values on us, is it worth arguing about it? Listen and let it drift by.
Some people turn down invitations preferring to spend Christmas alone, and take time and space for reflection. Whether you are religious, and celebrating the birth of Christ, or you are celebrating the solstice, when we pass through the darkest time of the year and the days begin to get longer, or you just want to celebrate being alive, be at home with yourself, and enjoy the company of others if you choose it.
An important thought to hold is:
"It's who you are that I love, not what you do"